hey i am back...its been so long since i update my blog...ya now still wanna update...
so wats my life is about...i am so happy with wat i have now...
i still have my mr cute... and we are happy together...
its onli tat its been starting when i started to werk..dia mcm tk caye aku..aku nak hidop baru...aku nak kite build our life tapi dlm fikiran dia cume aku ade scandal jek...nak katekna dlm company aku tk de la jantan hansom,..ade la melayu but semua is gemok and da tua...hahahah..i am waiting for him to jus come and i wanna prove to him tat i am not the nazirah i used to be...i am more loyal now...kalau fikir2 kan da malas seh aku nak start from stratch...but the onli way is jus keep quiet and let him see for himself weather aku ade scandal ke tak....
been bz planning for his birthday..can't wait for it....wanna suprise him...ok now is fasting mth and guess wat aku lum puase...wuhahhaa...planning tomorrow nak puase...insyallah...sayang playing takraw at eunos.....bile nak jumpe dia...haizzz....kinda mish him alot...

haiz..
besok ambek statement lagik...
and in one week court date...
aku tk tahu nak ckp ape..
risau tapi mane dia tahu nie semua...
dia slalu fikir aku main belakang dia...
aku really dun get it...

niari kuar ngan nyonya...
tu pun bising jugak...
adk dia jugak tu...
aku nak confince dia pun da tk tahu nak mcm mane lagik....
semua aku salah..
asyik2 aku jek...
aku redha..
ape dia nak fikir..fikir la...
aku tahu aku setia tk buat hal sudah...
aku tahu dia feel unsecure ke ape ke...
aku susah nak cakap..
aku tahu dia masuk aku prove pat dia aku tak main giler...
and show it to him...
semua nie dugaan bagi aku...
dan aku tahu allah syg aku bba tu dia kasi aku dugaan yg kadang2 aku sendiri susah nak tempuh....
dia dgn keegoan dia...
aku kene jadi air...
even wat happen...
ape yg terjadi nnt aku tetap akan bersyukur....

haiz nazirah ko nie feeling2 jek...
dia leh nampak aku senyum...ketawe...
dia tak tahu berape susah aku risau pasal dia...
dia fikir aku nak melawa pikat jantan jek...
tapi aku tk berniat pun...
......
life has to go on..
motive of living is to be with him...
and gosh i really need to werk..
aku bukan tak nak carik keje..
tapi aku takot the time we spent together tak cukup bagi aku..
aku kalau leh hari2 24/7 nak mengadap muke dia..
mungkin lepas dia masuk aku concentrate carik keje..
mane dia paham nie semua..
aku ade la takot ilang dia..
takot tk dpt sent time lagik..and him nagging abt me nak melawa la carik jantan la...tu jek la dlm fikiran dia.....
my time is over and done iswandy....

should i or not...
u make me lose face in front of everyone...
plz la cyg its ure own brother..
aku tk de niat pape pun...
jgn buat aku mcm nie

bam advise me..
no turning back
but aku sayang seh dia...
aku nak dia gan aku...
its so hard to forget sumone u truely love
everything abt u is fine...
but y must this stupid thing happen
aku seriously no intention...
haiz...

maybe its good tat we go our seperate ways..
maybe its better for us...
aku tahu ko senang tanpa aku...
aku tahu ko senang nak dpt pompoan baru...
aku redha...
ape yg tuhan kasi aku terima dengan seadanye
ini satu ujian allah kasi kat aku
sebab tu aku tahu allah masih sayang kan aku
dan allah tahu aku boleh terima ujian ini...
aku harus kuat kan hati ini utk menempuh ujian ini
ya allah kasi la aku kekuatan...
aku pasrah dgn ape yg berlaku...
aku berdoa agar dia berubah...
maungkin berubah bukan dengan aku..
tapi dengan wanita lain..

okay da lame aku tak blog kan kan kan...hehhee
wat happen on my birthday...
actually tak de la buat besar2 kan gan budget2....
so friday nite....
hubby was helping abg kadir with moving house..aku tunggu pat umah...
than kul 2 plus am aru alek...
tak de org wish aku..sedih kan...
dia balik pun bukak laptop..
guess wat dia leh lupa birthday aku..
aku diam jek..
than da setengah jam aku buat bodo jek makan chocolate...
than aleh2 dia peluk aku wish aku...
aku pi masak...
and he blow me a very big red baloon than with sweet romentic words...
hahahha so sweet of him...

saturday...
wake up at 10 am....
than went marsiling...
went lunch at breeks with my parents sayangkuz and aboi...
kesian dia berpeluh2 bual gan baba,,,
so proud of you...
than mlm go catch movie at town.....
than jalan2...

sunday...
plan was to sack at home...
we were having spring cleaning than muz call...
plan was to and mo kio...but darm pack...
so head town again...
had billy bombers...
thank you muz for the treat...

mostly
thank u so much for everything...
i love u sayang....

today was to plan meet ite peeps...
iswandy ah nie..
mentang2 wednesday ade jek fikiran lain...
ptg went his brother court..
guess wat bapak dia pun turun gan bini mude dia..
so discusting sak gan love bite..
da tua tk sedar diri..
biar la aslkan dia bahagia la kan..
aku pun put my fake face...
hahahha
aku pun tk tahu i jus can't forget wat he says about me...
now waiting for stupid ujang to finish his takraw...
hari2 takraw...tak bosan2 pe tk penat2 main takraw...
biarla asl kan dia bahagia sudah...
so 2 more days birthday aku seh..
da tua seh aku...
wuhahhaa
bluek

i am jus fucking lucky to have u by my side...
thank god u have change alot for me...
planning to get married end of this year or next year my birthday...
yahooo...
but sorry sayang i dun think i can please your family...
i am so bad in mixing around...
i will really try my best...
i promise...

aku tak paham org skg..mase kite senang tk ckp pape..bile kite susah sikit start nak mengira..
tapi aku janji pade diri aku tak mo fikir2 kan sangat...
maybe aku lepaskan feeling aku pat blog and aku will jus forget about it...

what have happen....
last friday lampu api air kene potong...aku kol iswandy..
and lastly we go didi house...
mane leh tido pat kampong panas tak de kipas lagik nyamok...
aku pun membontot laki aku jek...
everything seems ok tat time..
saturday bf tk keje...
so his family go east coast for fishing...
it was fun...u knoe gossip2 with his sibling all...
than head back to didi house...
guess wat makes my mood from happy to fucked up...
on sunday,after having lunch with bf at geylang lor 1
alek uma didi than nadhirah ckp mak merah suro kol urgent...
so bf kol mak merah..firstly bf tak kasi dengar...so i jus keep quiet...
aleh2 bf kasi earpiece kat aku....
punye menirap darah aku dengar yg ayah ckp aku yg sebab bill api air naik...
mcm sial ah,,,
bile part senang aku kasi ko duit...every week mintak aku duit ko senyum jek depan aku..
skg aku tak keje and bf pun keje cukup2 makan jek...ko nak mengira...
than bini mude ko tu ape...
kakak told me that this 2 mths bill electric naik...
so salah aku ah...
last 2 mth ko bawak balik bini mude ko than bill naik pe...
aku da nak masuk 1 tahun pat situ tak de hek pun pasal electric...
aku emo sekejap...
bf tried to make me smile...
tapi hati nie sakit jek dengar....
aku bukan nak kurang ajar la...
aku tak kacau org seh....
aku pn buntuh nak ckp ape lagik....
nadhirah keep saying biarkan memang pragai ayah mcm tu...
tak perna2 aku mcm nie,....
aku tak nak ckp pape....
aku nak diamkan diri jek...
aku nak tgk sejauh mane...

aku da lah fikirkan dia nak masuk...
nie lagik satu problem...
pukimak tul la life aku...
aku geram aku tak leh buat bf happy...
aku slalu susahkan dia...
now pasal aku dia skg tgl umah didi...
tak tgl kampong,,,,,
fuck la nazirah....

bodo nye aziz(bukan bpk aku,bpk dia)
selagi aku bleh sabar aku sabar...
aku syangkan anak ko punye pasal...
jgn sampai aku bawak lari anak ko...
u put ureself in this problem and u wanna drag other people inside ure own digging hole..
i hope u would one day realise that u are old...
and realise that wat goes around comes arould u old man...
i didn't mean to be rude but ure words really hurt me..
asl la aku tak kacau org...org slalu kene kacau aku....
nie nazirah da berubah tau...
i try not to be my old self that is selfish and rude...

i feel like doing wat i have done to adzmi's mother...
tapi fikir2kan tak gune...
aku kurang ajar pun
aku nak khawin gan anak dia jugak...
so nazirah ko kene stay cool...
ko kene sabar...

besok plan tu go jalan2 with bf...
yahoooo...
plz dun spoilt my day...\
syg i want u to off ure hp so that de org leh carik ko...
its onli about u and me tomorrow